we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Someone shit on the floor
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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