a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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