New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
