google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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