Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
