lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
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his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize