she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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