Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
