so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying