went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.