I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
