i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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