just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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