why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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