Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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