I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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