At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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