Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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