your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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