I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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