once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His hands were made for my vagina.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
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