i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
