we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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