please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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