glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
