my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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