is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
