He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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