his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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