My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My feet surprised me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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