1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im six kinds of drunk right now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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