im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize