I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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