We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
