for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
