If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
