Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
