Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
