I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
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Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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