I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
