Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
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this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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