I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
