think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
