If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
