That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
