I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
