I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
