im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
