I haven't been this sober since birth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
