where am i from again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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