At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
