He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize