remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
