So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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